The self-absorbed post

So my good job just vanished. One day I am at work and 10 minutes to 5 my boss calls me aside and tells me that I am no longer needed and not to show up tomorrow. There is no work for me to do but I know the truth. She doesn't trust me with any work since I made that little mistake that put egg on her face. It wasn't my fault that my little mistake was amplified to worse than it would have been. I own up to my mistake but still. Whatever. The past is past right?

"Okay, now what?" So I am thinking, "At least I still have a job to go back to. This isn't as bad as it could be" But I still felt like someone pulled the rug out from underneath me. Like the world turned upside down and wrong side out all at the same moment. I knew that I would have to return to the job that I hate; you know the one that pays what it should if the year was still 1985.

Depression. Depression. Depression. Depression. Depression. Depression. Depression. Depression. Depression. Depression. Depression. Depression. Sadness. Sadness. Sadness. Sadness. Sadness. Sadness. Sadness. Sadness. Sadness. Sadness. Sadness. Sadness. Sadness. Sadness. Tears. Anger! Anger! Anger! Anger! Anger! Frustration! Broke. Despair. Exhaustion. Exhaustion. Exhaustion.

Acceptance.

I feel like I am getting better now. Like my life is slowly turning right side up again. Slowly. I am cleaning out my house for spring. It is like clarifying a soup broth. Taking out the things that are not necessary to make the ones that remain more flavorful.

I bought 9 posters for my house. Three of them are paintings by Van Gogh and three are by Monet. Why I am feeling impressionistic? Who knows. Who cares.

I am making jewelry again and cleaning and cooking. It makes me happy. I am happily waiting for spring and warmer weather.

I will try to make my next post less self-absorbed.
Stefanie

Money

"Money, where have you gone to?
Money, where are you hiding?
I said, "Money, why won't you stay a while?"

Money, why don't you like me?

Was it something that I said?
Was it something that I done?
I always let you play me
But you never liked me, none

Money, why don't you like me?"

Lyrics from the song "Money" by Sharon Jones and the Dap-Kings